During my first year as a rabbi here in Ann Arbor, I attended a meeting about a controversial issue that the community was facing. I was asked to share my thoughts and when I spoke, I committed what was deemed to be a horrible sin by saying that I was ambivalent- that I could see both sides of the issue.

For many years after, I still hurt from the anger several people expressed to me after the meeting. It wasn’t just that they were angry that bothered me. What truly upset me was that they looked down on me as an immature and cowardly individual (their actual words) because I hadn’t taken a firm stand.

I have thought of that moment often and as the years have gone along, I have begun to realize that they were wrong: being ambivalent is not a sign of immaturity or a lack of courage. Sometimes, events are just too complicated to make a definitive decision, especially when the issue in question is one which has recently arisen and the long range effects of the events are impossible to predict.

And so, we come to today.

I am strongly ambivalent about the US and Israel’s attack on Iran. And, I know that I am not alone. There are many like me who are wrestling with what we have seen.

I can say some things without ambivalence. Iran’s leadership was, undeniably, the major source of terror throughout the world. The government under Khamenei was repressive, persecuting so many in Iranian society. The world is better off today after his death, and there should be no question about that.

There also can be no question that Iran poses an existential threat to Israel and the removal of the threat of nuclear weapons in the hands of Iran would be a great source of relief for Israel.

I also accept the fact that there are times where military actions are necessary and, as much as I detest war and consider myself a “dove”, I am not a pacifist and recognize that there is a time when military action is justified.

But, I can not dismiss the feelings that I have that bring me pause and concern about the wisdom and efficacy of this attack.

First, while I know President Trump is respected, even revered in Israel, and I do acknowledge the positive aspects of some of actions on behalf of Israel, I can not ignore the bigger picture, namely aspects of his personality and leadership style which which cause me to question his motives and the wisdom of these attacks. His reckless and irresponsible words and his tendency to act spontaneously are always in full view and here, they are especially dangerous.

The failure to adequately consult with Congress and the failure to inform the American people of the goals of this operation and the plans for the day after the operation ceases should concern us all. I do not trust that he and his “team” have thought this through enough to plan for eventualities and for the future. We have no idea who will replace the current government and what that means for the future of the region.

Secondly, I believe that diplomacy should have been given more of an opportunity to work before turning to this type of attack. The JCPOA was working until President Trump dismantled it during his first term. We have no idea whether it would have been ultimately successful but it should have been given more time. I have read reports that the current negotiations were making some progress shortly before the attacks began. I have no way to confirm that, of course, but from what I read and heard, there was more time to dedicate to diplomacy.

Finally, I fear for the repercussions of these attacks that will be felt here at home in many ways and some of those will be particularly troubling for Jewish community as well. The uncertainty of the days ahead lead me to take a deep breath before considering these attacks as positive and beneficial.

So, I am ambivalent. I am relieved and thankful that the recent leadership in Iran has been removed. The end of that regime is definitely positive for the sake of peace and justice in the world.

But, I am deeply concerned as to what happens now and in the days and months ahead. I hope and pray that the losses of human life will be minimal and that we will look back on these attacks and see that they were wise and effective. If that is the outcome, as I said back in June when the first attacks occurred, I will give credit where credit is due and be grateful to the Trump and Netanyahu administrations for bringing more peace and stability to the region. But, until we know more and until we see more, I am not convinced that we are on the right track.

I pray for the safety of our American military personnel who have taken on a great challenge and dangerous burden. I pray for peace and safety all in Israel. I pray for Israeli soldiers and for those keeping watch for citizens in Israel every day. I pray for those in Iran who are advocating for a different, more peaceful path forward and for all people throughout the Middle East and the world who are endangered at this time.

And, I pray for peace for all, not only in the short run but in the long term. And, for that to come to pass, I pray that those who make the ultimate decisions, will do so with wisdom and compassion.

May we all see better days.